mal.

ugh.

birmingham.

so good, so terrible, so frustrating.

i'm sorry anna.

love
lindsey.

oui

last night was FUN!

today's lesson:

http://fratty.net/112238/112269.html

i took a music app quiz today... and i think i got a 100 on it, despite the fact that i didn't study and even forgot we were having one. oops.

ummm.... yeah. last night was great fun, and everyone should have a group of guys that are super sweet to them and fun to be with.

GOING TO B'HAM NOW!

i'll leave it at that.

love
lindsey.

oublier

some things aren't worth dwelling on.

I GOT AN A ON MY HISTORY TEST! yeah, that's right. an A.

today was a considerably better day... at least so far. i'm sort of bored right now, but ah well. jason, the most caring enthusiastic wonderful pretty boy EVER, is downloading me a song. i take back every mean thing i've ever said or thought about jason, even during those fights i can't remember. you're a wonderful guy!! ;D

and one day, we'll make gorgeous babies or something!

feminism... gets my goat. i don't care. we've got rights, so why are we still trying to make ourselves MORE equal? maybe i've just never experienced it first hand or anything... but seems to me women were much better off when they were respected for what they were, instead of now when our biological shortcomings are ignored and only serve to handicap us. i just don't care. i ought to, i suppose, but it doesn't bother me at all. i'm smart, i enjoy learning, i like college, but i'll admit i'd be glad to earn an MRS. and it's not because i feel like that's all i'm capable of, as a women, it's just... that's what i want. so why do people look down on that? i like to clean and take care of people and wear my pearls and anticipate needs...it's fulfilling to me in a way that the competition of the "real" world isn't. i don't care much for competition.

moving on.

the day started out with an "everyone's against me!" sort of feeling, and i'm paranoid some people are mad at me (they might actually be, i'm not sure yet) but i soon got into a better mood, which was augmented by the 500 calories i lost at the gym today. it's skinny!lindsey coming back! hopefully...

going to b'ham tomorrow! i'm sad to leave c-ville, but i need to get my hairs cut and i think me, mum, and sel are going to go BRIDAL SHOPPING!!! ahhh i'm so excited! i can't wait to see kel in her wedding dress! she's going to be GORGEOUS!

so i just got a little bored, and read my OLD blog, from before the phi kappa dating fiasco. and i found this post:

well it wasn't too rainy today. mostly just soggy from the "ice storm" this weekend.

i thankfully missed that, being away at the beach.

it was so lovely to be in the company of nice, normal, really smart people. sometimes i wonder if i ought to have gone to birmingham-southern college. but then i wouldn't be a sigma kappa or have my friends... it's a hard call.

evidently i'm better at writing than i thought i was. and not quite as good at languages. this is a sad day. i'm just not sure what to do with myself. i do want to be that domestic goddess, the stepford wife... but i'm still in college... so what do i study?

french
it's gorgeous and beautiful and stylish and elegant. i love how it rolls off my tongue without even making much sense at all.

german
not quite as awful as i thought it would be. it's fun to pronounce. but it's time consuming and frustrating to learn a new language when i was getting to know french pretty well.

english
i've never considered myself to be the writer my sister is. she's got it down. i just type and lo and behold, for an english class at a public school it's fairly decent. well, i got best response in my class, but it's just uga. and as much as i brag about it being tough, it's not that hard. hard to get in... but not hard.

home ec or whatever it's called now
i love baking. and i'm learning how to cook this summer. i love to crochet and make things for people to see them love it and smile. but what do you do with that? it's not like i'll be married right out of college... highly doubtful, at least. as kelsey says, i'm looking in the wrong places. firstly, i'm in georgia at a public school when i just want a smart nice guy who's interesting to talk to.

so really it's just me second-guessing myself. i'd always figured as soon as my dating ban was lifted, i'd be right back to how i was in high school, dating every night. but it hasn't worked out that way. and it's frustrating.

it's hard because i think i'm pretty (i'll come right out and say it. i'll not be a shrinking violet in my own blog) but it's hard to tell what everyone else is thinking. boys from high school are asking me out on dates that i hardly even knew back then, but they're in alabama and they aren't what i'm looking for.

maybe i'm too picky and i'm over-reaching. maybe i'm assuming i'm in a higher dating caste than i really am. i suppose i'm a little too rude every now and then, and i'm certainly not a "good girl" on the weekends... well, sometimes i am. i don't drink every weekend.

like we all do, i've turned to the internet masses for my therapists.

silent therapists
but therapists nonetheless.

who knows if my friends even actually read this. that's odd, isn't it? here i am, pouring out my soul on some stupid little screen and my best friends aren't even reading this.

and sometimes i write with someone in mind and i know they'll never read it. that's just common sense.

needless to say, it's not been a perfect night. but in retrospect, i could be worse off. at least i think i'm pretty.

i am pretty

just be sure and let me from time to time, won't you?

love
lindsey
posted by lindsey @ 8:21 PM

it's weird, going back and seeing how incredibly bipolar i was there. i was either REALLY happy or REALLY sad. argh i'm still just as crazy, i guess. but yeah...still wondering what i'm going to do with my life. even after i've transferred. that's what got me, was i didn't know then, i don't know now, and i doubt i ever will. THANK YOU, God, for helping me see what to major in! argh.

if anyone else would like to see how bipolar i was, go to http://goodclothesopenalldoors.blogspot.com

it's funny.

and... that's about it.

love
lindsey.

quelle domage!

today has been, for all intents and purposes, a BAD DAY.

i'm now a bitch, a "fucking" hypocrite (not just a regular hypocrite, i'm special!), spiteful, a tease, a psycho who has to have her pills, an enchantress, if not a vixen... it's just not been a good day at all.

oh wait, i guess this about sums me up (and i quote!)

a mood swinging fickle psycho pill popping bitch who just can't see that the problem is HERSELF.

AND i will now:

have fun acting like a slut dumbass drunkard

unfortunately, i'm one of those that is "too hopped up on your valium and prozac to know the truth you psycho"

indeed.

love
lindsey.

mon dieu!

so evidently a whole lot more people are reading this than i ever thought... it's weird!

to put some rumors to rest (ANNA) lindsey grissom does not have crushes. i'm just stating facts here... for the most part.. there might be some embellishments every now and then... ;D but really, anna, just because i write about someone doesn't mean i like them. sheesh- you always jump to conclusions! but all the same, i've decided to remain completely impartial in that sense to every guy here. it's going to be them making the first move, without me having crushes and getting all school-girly. after all, i quite grew out of that at UGA, now didn't i? so, for the record, official and otherwise, i, lindsey renee grissom, have no crushes, do not "like" anyone in that certain way, and have no "things" for anyone at Tennessee Technological University (hereafter referred to at 'TTU'), save the one i'll always have on jason... and on dalton huey's friend... whatever his name was. he was really hot. I therefore deny that any flirting i might do has any ulterior motive, as we all know i am a flirt and need to keep my hand in, since i got rather rusty at UGA. except with a little help from... my friends. whereas i have always been known as a flirt, and whereas it has been stated that 'lindsey really is a tease' and whereas at least 2 boys have accused me of 'leading ___ on' and whereas i can truthfully assert that i have no crushes, things, or likes for anyone right now, I, lindsey renee grissom, of sound mind and body, for the most part, at least, do hereby state that i have not yet set my sights on anyone here at TTU.

right. so today... i ran errands with susan and cleaned the kitchen for a few hours. it looks pretty good. i think tomorrow afternoon i'm going to take my galoshes over there and wear some shorts or something and get the floor scrubbed. then i'll do the hallway. it needs to be vacuumed... i wonder if anyone has a vacuum? (ahem- if any of yall are still reading this, and you live in the house, and have a vacuum, let me know!)

it's weird, i know, but i really do love cleaning for those guys. they're all so nice and they put up with me so much... it's the least i can do. and i don't have anything else to do... and it makes me feel like i'm doing something nice for them, and they're so good and appreciative! i've never known such wonderfully nice boys (except you, of course, jason- you're still on your pedestal!) so really, any little thing i can do for them makes me feel like i'm at least doing SOMETHING in return for them putting up with me and all my weird, random moods and being over there EVERY SINGLE DAY. it's nice to know i can go over there instead of just sitting alone in my room hoping someone calls or something... so that's why i'm cleaning. that and i like to clean other people's stuff.

i've been thinking about what kel said about death penalty for child rapists, etc. i think she's right. i can't see rehabilitation for them, and every interview i've read says they don't trust themselves. they're all repeat offenders, i think. or they will be, given the chance. there shouldn't be early parole or anything like that. i wonder how you go about changing a law like that... or getting one put in effect. something needs to be done. i'm scared for macy.

i think i'm getting sick. i had a cough today, and i've felt really dizzy since sunday. and my nose is sniffly! i hate being sick. i really hope i don't get sick.

oh my heavens my eyes hurt so bad. they just won't look at anything. i don't know why. it's just terrible. i hope i don't end up needing even stronger glasses this year. i used to have such perfect vision, they're really driving me insane. always having to bother putting them on and making sure they're clean and all that crap. ugh. i don't see how yall glasses people manage.

i miss lindsey! (my big sis, for those of you who've forgotten) recruitment workshops have been going on all over the place, and i can't help but think i'm missing all of it. i won't get to rush anyone or pref anyone or offer iced tea to anyone or be a big sis to anyone... rush week is going to be really really really really really sad and lonely for me. i'll probably just want to sit in my room and cry or something. i already want to, just thinking about it. i miss socials... even though i didn't go to that many... and i miss chapter even! i miss that hour of pure boredom! i miss seeing what everyone wears to formal and informal and i miss walking through the house and sitting in the date room or the sun room. and i miss everyone hating miss lily and her always smoking in her room. and i miss trying to find a parking spot in the back or walking across milledge to dr. blues. i love it here, but i miss my sigma kappa sisters! and i just know that rush week, here and there, is going to be really hard. i'll just have to try and stay busy, i guess.

alright. description for tonight. let's see... priebel. he's like robert fischer, only smarter and not all... nazi weird and stuff. nicer... but looks like robert, at least a little. he reminds me of robert. puts me in mind of robert.

something like that.

and adam jackson, aka jackass, which led to a whole lot of drama last night on the phone. he's EXACTLY like a brother from phi kappa literary society at UGA... brother... brother... ah shoot i can't remember his name. danielle (sister brudi) dated him, or is dating him, or something. anyways he's a smart as a whip southern guy who's got his own law firm and turned down a huge offer with a b'ham firm because he hates authority. i don't know if adam jackson hates authority or not, but they talk a lot alike and they just seem... like almost the same person.

so... that's about it. i've got another boring day of class ahead of me tomorrow... which is never fun or exciting. i'm seriously thinking about drinking a beer before music app, but then i know i'd be far too sleepy in history... but it sure would make prof. allcott more interesting, i think.

random IMs just really throw me off... like whenever matt (remember.. year younger than me, played in the band...) IMs me. we hardly ever talk, but every now and then, he'll IM me or something. it's weird.. and fun, because i miss talking to him, he was a nice guy, but just really throws me off.

most stuff throws me off though.

and kel, i hope you got around to saving this address from my facebook profile... it was getting too public (i've never known people to just get it off facebook like that, but ok) and i've been accused of a few things. so let me know when we chat tomorrow, k sel?

love
lindsey.

ruhig!

i'm so tired tonight, and that title has absolutely nothing to do with how i'm feeling, it's just the first german word to pop in my head.

today, straight after class i got lunch to go- OH! this is annoying! i got my every now and then usual chicken fingers and fries, and a water... just the number 4 combo at the grill. well i get up there, and checkout man is like, hey, yo, this is 10 cents over a meal... you wanna use flex or TWO MEALS?! i was just like-uhhh.... it's never been two meals before. he was like hey yo bitch i know my shit, yeah.

it was crazy.

i used my flex money.

then i went to the lake! to see granny and papa and pick up stuff from b'ham. i got 3 new polos, a purple one, a black one, and my navy one i've been wanted for AGES! (evidently i've been saying AGES! for a while now... the boys have started making fun of me with it. ah well.)i also got new sunglasses since mine fell in the lake 4th of july, and two new pairs of socks, cute little polo ones, my deans list certificate, and medecine... i think that's it. also got a tag for the front of my car from ROCK ISLAND- just need to figure out how to put that sucker on.

then went skiing for like... a mile, seriously.

came back here and went to the sigma chi house to drop off some towels i picked up for them from the grandparents. matt smith keeps saying "what a sweetheart!" and i can't quite figure him out.

this day was so long!

so i hung out there and watched the thomas crowne affair with priebel, cody, paul, chris thomas, and bo. then most of them left, except cody and paul. then they played video games or something, i think. not sure. martinez came in and they talked about all the drama that occurred at the party saturday... it was CRAZY. i mean really. then i went down and watched jenkins and paul play a video game, and then matt smith asked if i wanted to go to the party at kevin's, so i figured why the heck not, and went anyways.

he was a perfect gentleman and opened the car door for me and everything. for some reason... oddly enough, i just didn't expect it. so it was just another sign that these guys really are great. don't know why i didn't expect it, he's like... old south country boy or something, but it was nice. sat there for a while... i knew priebel, matt, of course, martinez, who left soon after i got there, kevin, and garrett. i met a few other people. they all did jello shots and got rather intoxicated-ish. it was weird. we didn't stay long though.

came back and hung out for a while in cody and paul's room (such a slut for them!) and then... oh, john was back from chilis and said they'd been looking at my application and he'd put in a good word for me. we hung out there for a while... a long while, then went to walmart. then i left and came back here.

so really, i was at the house from 6 PM until 1 AM. that's insane. the thing is, i don't even pretend i might not come the next night anymore like i used to. i know i'll go there. so i go. i hope they don't mind!

so thinking about how much i like shannon now has made me think about alllllll the people i used to not like at all that ended up good friends. laurie caldwell... who's not really a friend anymore... lindsay brown... crazy gal... allison thompson... tons of people. i have terrible judgement on people. i mean... i kissed cody for heaven's sake! obviously i have terrible judgement.

so... i'm pretty knackered. i can't even remember going to class today. that's insane.

what an incredibly long entry!

bleeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........

love
lindsey.

glücklich

i've been doing all my titles in french because i don't remember much german and my cool translator widget is messed up. so that's a bummer.

but i had a great weekend!!!

so yesterday... sunday, i mean, i got up and talked to mummy on the phone, who was on her way back from Indianapolis with daddio. they'd gone to see great aunt ruth's 50th wedding anniversary thing, so i was glad mum got to see her family like aunt ruth. i don't recall ever meeting aunt ruth, but she calls every now and then to say hey to mom. and i know mom's been wanting to go back to indiana to see the town and all, and i like it when mom gets to do random things that she wants to do.

she also bought me a bunch of polo shirts from the outlet. I LOVE YOU MOMMY!!!!

shout out to shannon! who i didn't know was reading this! i didn't used to like shannon, i think our personalities clashed when i was in my rebellious stage, but i think she's pretty durn cool now, and MAN can she pull off the irish cap! so hey shannon!

yesterday was cody's birthday (hotASS!cody!). i went over to the house around 2 or so to get some stuff out of cody's fridge that i'd left there. ended up staying until like... 5:30. just watched tv with cody, paul, john, and pauls girlfriend?. and i watched john and cody play tiger woods golf on the xbox. cody sucked pretty badly, but the thing really was screwing him up. it wasn't all his fault.

then i came back to the room to shower, and lo and behold, i sure didn't, because luna called and said she was on her way to dinner at logans, so of course i went. after dinner, we went to find cody's birthday present. luna got him toilet paper, and i got him a WWJD pen (purple, of course) on a string and a black and mild, even though he doesn't smoke. i thought it was funny. then we took an old birthday card of macy's from emma, crossed out the macy part and wrote cody and crossed out the emma part and wrote susan and lindsey. it was pretty cute, with the rainbow on the front and purple crayon and all. he got a kick out of it. said he was saving the pen and using it for homework.

when we first went to the house to give cody his presents, NO ONE was there. actually, jenkins was leaving to go to work. so me and luna cleaned the kitched. there were SOOOOO many beer cans from the party, it was disgusting. the kitchen was gross to begin with, but UGH. so we mopped and all and made do with the meager supplies they have there (fraterninty houses!) and it looked ok. i want to take some clean sponges over and really clean the countertops and work on the floor some more, and vacuum the hall, at least. i've just got to figure out a time when everyone's going to be gone again. we'll see! we're like secret cleaning fairies, only jenkins and cody guessed it was us. so they know. i doubt anyone else will notice the kitchen's been cleaned, but at least i feel slightly better about being in the house now! ;D

who should i describe today? let's do john, because i know he read my entries about cody and joe.

john has darker will anderson hair (thanks for the names, shannon!) all sorts of crazy and all. i don't know if yall remember dalton huey's super hot soccer friend that's a year younger than us... i forget his name too, but he was HOT! well john's got sort of a dalton huey/dalton's friends sort of hot soccery body and all. he's got a tim johnson laugh all loud and crazy, and he's sort of... mark glassford-y, only taller and hotter. just that sort of personality, i think. so that's john.

i want to see some montevallo/elon descriptions! anna, you can't do any, because we know all of your friends, including daniel... and he's the only one you'd describe, probably.

going to the lake today to pick up my supplies from home! i've also got to mail the letter to my LOVELY SEXY BIG SIS LINDSEY!!

and everyone give tim a ring or something- today's his first day of classes at emory med school!! give kel a ring too, while you're at it, because i know it's hard for her without him.

time for class! let me just say it again- I LOVE THIS SCHOOL!!!!

love
lindsey.

la fete d'ete

so summer party was last night- it's over now! it was... fairly good, i suppose. i ate at el tap with the older folks, and that was fun. cesar seems to not hate me anymore and rarely brings up my social faux pas now ;D

then we headed to the house and since a soft taco was all i had eaten ALL day.... everything hit me pretty hard. so i talked with a bunch of people... i don't really remember what i did, actually. priebel took me to get beer, i got them and put them in cody's fridge... and then...? i don't know. eventually megan and susan and terri showed up and we hung out and chatted and all... that's all run together. we went to Katie Grey's (sp?) apt at some point, me and terri did, and then we all went over to the SAE party, which wasn't much fun as i didn't know ANYONE.. but i did get to hang out with some sweet KDs, so that was good. meeting more people! then we went back to the sigma chi house, where we belonged, and i think i danced for like... 20 seconds... and then just hung out. i talked to sauls? who's a fiji for a while, and then talked with nipper and sauls, and then sauls and one of his fiji brothers... just stood outside and talked with them, then walked around with cesar looking for thomas, talked on thomas's phone to his best buddy from home matt, got told i was about the only hot redhead ever by a few guys (it was pretty funny, they were actually quite scientific about the whole "something always gets shitty.. you know... facially.." thing), avoided dancing for a while, etc etc etc and then talked to joe for a long time as he stood there keeping a watchful eye on his sister's friends like the nicest guy to ever walk the planet would. i don't know how to quite describe these people here to yall, my b'ham crew, but joe is like... a lee maniscalco/ brian the swimmer (last name's escaped me) niceness, but with a jonathon bergeron calm (sans drugs), and a melanie gaskins popularity factor, only not fake at all. and then the hot football player 'let me take care of you' body and gorgeous smile.. yeah. pretty much everyone swoons.

who else should i describe to yall? this is fun.

cody, the boy i kissed 4th of july, is HOT ass. he's like a louder, less intellectual allen craven, but with a better-postured and better-assed body of will year younger than us and always plays Jesus... what's his name? gah this is terrible.

cesar is kind of like sui lui, i think. not just because they're both asian either. they're just kind of alike.

this is hard... very hard!

and it's even harder with this headache... ugh...beer.

love
lindsey.

ce soir

i had such high expectations for tonight, and none of them, not a single one, were realized. isn't that sad? on the one hand, i got to know terri better, and i'm glad of that, because she's really sweet and nice and a good girl. but it wasn't super fun at the sigma chi house or anything like i thought it would be. i did get to meet some new people, some of the brothers that had been out of town and whatnot, which was also good, and i didn't feel completely out of place, most of the time. there were a few times when i almost panicked and hid by myself because i didn't feel like i had anyone to talk to. that scared me, that i felt like leaving so soon. i thought i'd do better than that. but i suppose it turned out ok.

the big summer party is tomorrow though, and i'm really worried about that. i've mentioned that in passing to a few people, but i guess they don't really understand how it is for me. it's hard, it what it is. i'm so scared that i'll end up just standing there because everyone else will be talking away about people i don't know with people i don't know very well. i guess that's what i got myself into by transferring here, but really. i thought i was past all that.

meanwhile, back at the corral-

talked to lucas tonight, who said he could hook me up with a job as a SOL next summer, which would be SO much fun, i think. i'm excited about that.

had two tests today, i think they both went ok. i don't feel like i did as well on my history test as i did on the last one but we'll see, i suppose.

and really... that's about it. didn't drink much tonight. it's weird being sober when there are some REALLY TRASHED people there. i suppose it's ___ that keeps me on my toes like that. i just feel weird drinking or something. this is stupid- he'll probably read this and think i'm a stupid girl with a crush or something... stalker lindsey. i also shouldn't think so highly of myself to think HE'D bother reading this. seriously, he's like mr. perfect. terri heard about our little jaunt the other day and they were SO jealous... everyone thinks he's The Perfect Guy. and he really is, i figure. so i don't know why he's wasting time talking to me. i wish i knew why he was wasting time talking to screwed up me. i shouldn't write in this thing at 2 AM. i'm always lonely and depressed.

sleeping late tomorrow in preparation for summer party. hopefully i'll be awake and happy and energized... but that'll only happen if i've got stuff to do tomorrow... which i probably won't. ah well.

love
lindsey.

l'examen

so i can tell that i'm going to be a serious slacker here. i've got 2 tests tomorrow and i've studied maybe an hour total. yeah. we'll see how that turns out for me, eh?

went to rock island today, which was a super!fun trip (great company and all!)

the grandparents are out of town this weekend but it's ok because it's SUMMER PARTY AT THE SIGMA CHI HOUSE!!! and i'm excited, but also really really nervous.

yall know i don't do well in places where i feel intimidated and unnoticed and all taht. i have to know that people are thinking of me and wanting to talk to me and all. parties... that generally doesn't happen. but these guys are all nice, so maybe it'll be ok. i'm just a little worried about it, is all.

so tired. it's been a loooooong day today.

love
lindsey.

das bier

another late night last night with jeopardy and halo... getting slightly better at halo, i think. i managed to kill someone this time. it's raining AGAIN but at least we've had a little bit of sun this weekend. it could be much worse.

cat, of course you know jason. prom date, remember?! silly. you've just forgotten. it's hard to keep up with everyone, i know.

so i've been driving around on an expired license for a week now. i've got to figure out how to get a new one. i know i can mail in some stuff, but i don't know where to get proof of enrollment. i'm about to go hunt that down, i think. before i head over to the gym. and i'm not sure if they'll renew it since it's already expired. should've gotten on the ball sooner. ah well. keeps me driving under the speed limit, at least.

aced a history test and a mucis quiz. these teachers love me, i'm telling you.

we have a health and safety check tomorrow here in the dorms, so i've got to tidy up a bit. not looking forward to that. just don't feel like cleaning right now.

that's about it, actually. nothing really exciting going on lately. summer party's this weekend, and that ought to be good fun. we'll see.

love
lindsey.

die Sonne

i am so incredibly burnt. it's a good thing i don't take my clothes off in front of people, because my poor little butt is so freakishly white!

i picked beans this weekend. let me tell you- if you've never picked beans- then it is extremely hard work. and i only did one row! it was super funny though. i got dressed up in dad's old work jeans and my galoshes and a t-shirt and a long-sleeved spring fling t-shirt of dad's and a big ol truckerish hat papa gave me to wear. i looked like a pale mexican or something. it was weird. but me and papa drove out to cy's to pick beans and then papa let me drive the truck back and i was REAL country then. all that was missing was a cold bud or something.

went skiing after bean picking, then laid out, then walked around the island, then ate dinner (at the market...mmmmmm) and then i fell asleep on the couch.

friday night i went over to the sigma chi house for a little bit, then went to waffle house with john, then to rock island at 3 AM.

today i got up, didn't go to church with granny and papa, went down to the dock, laid out, canoed, swam, etc. then we ate lunch and went for a boat ride up to slime creek falls and the cave around there on collins. i stayed on the lake and got burnt, then went up and snapped beans for FOREVER. but it was fun, and we had a good dinner afterwards.

so that was my weekend. nothing exciting going on the rest of the day. i'm super burnt and i can hardly walk i'm so sore from skiing and pickin beans. seriously. my legs have never been this sore. and it's not the quads that hurt, it's the back of the leg muscles... hamstrings or something? i don't know. but it KILLS.

argh i'm so burn and sore.

also- i went to walmart before i went to rock island and read the last 10 pages of the new harry potter. i know who dies! i know who harry's girlfriend is!! haha- just wait anna- i'm so going to tell you and you'll hate me and hate me!

love
lindsey.

fete nationale!

happy bastille day!

it's been a rather boring past few days. i decided not to go to the sigma chi house last night and took a nap... until 4 AM. right. so that's 3 nights this week i've slept in my makeup, so my skin is rebelling and i feel awful bad about it.

today and yesterday afternoon i've been super!preppy lindsey, wearing my dark denim skirt, rainbows, and a polo with my pearls. yesterday after class was the green polo, today was the white polo with the light blue polo sweater over my shoulders, just to give you a picture of how super!preppy i was. it's been fun though. i got in the mood reading fratty.net, which i think is hilarious and have decided to follow, to an extent.

it's been raining here all day. i got to wear my galoshes to class 3 times this week. getting kind of bored with it though.

so that's really about all that's been going on. rather boring. so sorry.

love
lindsey.

je t'aime

i love my friends.

love
lindsey.

triste

in a completely random fit this afternoon, well, tonight, actually, i just all the sudden got really down in the dumps. actually, i'm in the throes of meloncholy. i'm really sad. not in a sort of huffy way because i'm unsatisfied with friends or whatever, but i'm sad because i just am. i love my friends, they like me, i know i'm always welcome to hang out with them, sure, they might tease me, but they don't believe anything they say. i have no reason to be sad, and that's why i am convinced that i just needed a sad day. i've decided that i'll start to come out of it tomorrow night. tomorrow can be a mellow day for me to recover from it all. today was a lack of sleep day, so i looked pretty rough and no one seemed to mind, so tomorrow i'll be rough looking again, and then after class i'll eat a good lunch, work out at the gym, maybe go to a bookstore and read a book, and then by dinnertime or whenever i hang out with people again, i'll be withdrawn but increasingly happier. and i think that should work.

it's just been so long since there was so little wrong with life that i think i'm used to having bad days where i need to just sit back and not talk to anyone for a few hours. i wish josh would get online; he's really understanding about that sort of thing.

i've realized recently that even if i am slightly crazy and very dorky and a little snobby from time to time and very quiet and withdrawn every so often, people still like me. so that's good, to be accepted. working on that last rung of maslow's.

so now i'm listening to the HDC's cd. dont know why i still have it, or why i'm listening to it, but it makes me sad to think that that was the longest relationship i've ever had, the most loving and serious. and it was 3 freaking months. maybe i'm just not the long-term sort. maybe i'll die single and virginal. then i'll really have a reason to be a crazy old woman. i'd hate to die a virgin, but if push comes to shove, i'm not giving that one up. not without a wedding band on my finger to someone my sisters and friends and family approve of. and none of that 'well, yeah, he's ok' stuff, but the real 'oh i love him- invite him over too!' sort of thing. but i'm thinking that's probably not going to happen, not for a very very long time. and that sort of depresses me too. maybe that's part of it. i'm resigning myself to the life of a nun at 19. i just don't think i'm able to stand someone for the rest of my life, living with them and looking at them. maybe i'll grow up enough to handle it, but it's not looking like it. i ought to be at least a little more mature by now, enough to make good dating decisions. i just get so easily flattered that i get carried away into boys that i know i have no business dating. i know my standards.

so thta's what it really is. i'm giving up on sex, it appears. no kids for me. i think i could be a good mom, but if that's what it needs to be, so be it.

of course, if i meet the boy of my dreams tomorrow, i reserve the right to take this all back. but if i don't, then... i guess that's ok too. i can wear red and orange and not have to worry what my husband will think, ever. i'm too selfish to be married, too. not too big into that whole sharing thing.

but now it's time for me to mope a little bit more... you know how it/i is/am.

your virginal redhead for all time

love
lindseyl

triste

in a completely random fit this afternoon, well, tonight, actually, i just all the sudden got really down in the dumps. actually, i'm in the throes of meloncholy. i'm really sad. not in a sort of huffy way because i'm unsatisfied with friends or whatever, but i'm sad because i just am. i love my friends, they like me, i know i'm always welcome to hang out with them, sure, they might tease me, but they don't believe anything they say. i have no reason to be sad, and that's why i am convinced that i just needed a sad day. i've decided that i'll start to come out of it tomorrow night. tomorrow can be a mellow day for me to recover from it all. today was a lack of sleep day, so i looked pretty rough and no one seemed to mind, so tomorrow i'll be rough looking again, and then after class i'll eat a good lunch, work out at the gym, maybe go to a bookstore and read a book, and then by dinnertime or whenever i hang out with people again, i'll be withdrawn but increasingly happier. and i think that should work.

it's just been so long since there was so little wrong with life that i think i'm used to having bad days where i need to just sit back and not talk to anyone for a few hours. i wish josh would get online; he's really understanding about that sort of thing.

i've realized recently that even if i am slightly crazy and very dorky and a little snobby from time to time and very quiet and withdrawn every so often, people still like me. so that's good, to be accepted. working on that last rung of maslow's.

so now i'm listening to the HDC's cd. dont know why i still have it, or why i'm listening to it, but it makes me sad to think that that was the longest relationship i've ever had, the most loving and serious. and it was 3 freaking months. maybe i'm just not the long-term sort. maybe i'll die single and virginal. then i'll really have a reason to be a crazy old woman. i'd hate to die a virgin, but if push comes to shove, i'm not giving that one up. not without a wedding band on my finger to someone my sisters and friends and family approve of. and none of that 'well, yeah, he's ok' stuff, but the real 'oh i love him- invite him over too!' sort of thing. but i'm thinking that's probably not going to happen, not for a very very long time. and that sort of depresses me too. maybe that's part of it. i'm resigning myself to the life of a nun at 19. i just don't think i'm able to stand someone for the rest of my life, living with them and looking at them. maybe i'll grow up enough to handle it, but it's not looking like it. i ought to be at least a little more mature by now, enough to make good dating decisions. i just get so easily flattered that i get carried away into boys that i know i have no business dating. i know my standards.

so thta's what it really is. i'm giving up on sex, it appears. no kids for me. i think i could be a good mom, but if that's what it needs to be, so be it.

of course, if i meet the boy of my dreams tomorrow, i reserve the right to take this all back. but if i don't, then... i guess that's ok too. i can wear red and orange and not have to worry what my husband will think, ever. i'm too selfish to be married, too. not too big into that whole sharing thing.

but now it's time for me to mope a little bit more... you know how it/i is/am.

your virginal redhead for all time

love
lindseyl

lisez-vous!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/turkey_sheep_suicide;_ylt=Ar07vlQDyQQCLBvtbIHcDjKs0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTA3ODdxdHBhBHNlYwM5NjQ-

indeed.

another weekend- stupid?

love
lindsey.

ennui

i'm really really really bored right now. here's what i've done today:

1. woke up at 11:40
2. showered
3. got dressed, etc
4. went to walmart
5. took a nap
6. got lunch at chik-fil-a
7. took a nap
8. read a lot
9. took a nap

and that's where i am now. i've done NOTHING productive today. i have a musical instrument due on monday that i haven't worked on at all, haven't even really thought about yet. i thought we talked about going skeet shooting today, but i never got a phone call about it, so i guess not? i don't know. but i'm really tired of taking naps, even though i'm still tired... this is boring. seriously boring.

i need to do something fun right now. gaaaaaaahhhhhhh. should have gone to rock island today.

and CALL ME YOU SILLY PEOPLE! i've talked to like NO ONE from the ham or elsewhere in AGES. i miss yall! i miss talking to yall! call me! give me something to do!

love
lindsey.

satzklammer!

so i typed in satzklammer in my little translator widget, and it translates it into english as "more satzklammer!" i mean seriously! i got a kick out of that.

really, it's the name for the part of a sentence in german after the verb (2nd position) and before the period or last verb, which ever comes first. it's where they throw all their junk... like the front yard of a southern home, especially one in cookeville.

i'm pretty bored right now. i took a shower and i have a quic in music appreciation that i should study for, but i'm not sure i'm going to. i just don't really feel like it. i don't care too much. english and theater spoiled me last session. i feel like i can get an a in everything now.

i'm running out of clothes to wear. i'm getting so incredibly bored with what i have. i need to shop and bring up some more from b'ham, i guess.

maybe i'll take another nap. this 2 AM-3 AM bedtime thing is getting better, but it's still a little rough.

love
lindsey.

cretin

i am such an idiot. why do i get all quiet and not say anything and then just all the sudden, 20 minutes later, spurt out something completely weird and random. people must think i'm a freak.

meanwhile

i learned about the first electrocution today. exciting, isn't it?

i'm still a cretin... an eejit... something terrible.

why do i do that? why am i so completely weird and freakish and odd?! why can't i just talk about normal things like anyone else?

why am i so angsty?

yeesh.

love
lindsey.

fete!

last night i went to the sigma chi house! we didn't do much, just hung out and watched fireworks, but MAN it's good to be back! 4th of july was like any other 4th of july... nothing special there.

classes started back today... ought to be ok. a little harder this bit, but not too bad.

i've got work to do! just thought i'd update... i'm so busy nowadays!!

love
lindsey.

etudier!

exams today- english exam and theater is just a monologue. i'm doing a bit from le petit prince... in french... so it doesn't really matter if i mess up or not ;D

i'm not worried about english either. my teacher seems to really like me. she invited me to join her book group this fall, and i thought that was really nice of her

cara is waiting to hear from the head coach if we can room together or not. see, there's this incoming freshman who's going to play ball, and this is her last chance to take the act i think. if she gets a high enough score, she gets scholarship and lives in the new dorm, and cara and i live together. if she doesn't, she can't afford the new dorm, and she and cara live together. so let's hope that she gets some high scores.

heading to rock island today after exams for family reunions and the like. i'm not looking forward to it. i hate all the questions that come ('so lindsey, why are you at tech now? why the transfer?' or 'where's your boyfriend, lindsey? i thought for sure you'd have a boyfriend by now' or 'so... how'd you get sunburnt?' but i have answers this year. for the first, about transferring: 'the electro-magnetic field didn't agree with me in georgia" and the second: 'oh, i don't have a boyfriend. i've decided to become an old maid and stay single my whole life. seems much easier. you get so many questions, and i love questions.' and the last 'well i was recently in the sun... i know that's a little strange, but evidently the sun causes this strange redness to appear. never fear, i've been assured that it will soon go away.') so maybe it won't be TOO bad.

but it's be a whole lot easier if i had a boyfriend.

love
lindsey.