ici

alright. i'm here. i'm at ttu and i've moved in and i start classes tomorrow.

let's just see how it goes.

pray for me?

love
lindsey.

vendredi!

so it's friday and i'm tired... i'm getting new glasses... my farsightedness is worse and now i have astigmatism, like the rest of the fam, save macy. evidently i've been farsighted since i was 9 but didn't show any symptoms till 2 years ago (??). learned that today. also got to look at my retina and ocular nerve. my blood vessels are like Retina Bodybuilders- they'd so take yours out. and my far away vision is, as usual, incredible. so i picked out frames and the like, and got a prescription to FINALLY make my eyes quit watering. all in all a good trip. went to the doctor for my anual 'is-lindsey-about-to-be-preggers-or-keel-over-and-die' bloodwork. the lab guy was bad at poking me though and i have a bruise on my elbow joint. the inside.

also packed up today to move to the ol TTU. i'm so excited! bad news though, my little out-of-state waiver doesn't cover summer school? not too cool. so i'll be getting a job, but i was planning on that anyways, so it's ok. i think i'll email scholarships or something and see if we can apply that to summer school tuition. that'd be very helpful.

so... tim graduates tomorrow, and we're having a party for him and his friends... catering dreamland ribs :D i'm super excited about that. kelsey quit her job at jim n nicks today, and will now be working for mom.

and now it looks like i'll get to hang out with my buddy, jeremy, and his pals tomorrow night after the party! they're at the beach right now, which is where i met jeremy, about a year ago exactly. that was good times. laurie vandy, erin bou, anna smith, megan parker, allison shauwecker, and i were all down at destin at erin's condo for senior trip. laurie and i were walking around the beach late one night, trying to meet people, even stooped to talking to 13 year olds, and were walking dejectedly back when we saw a jeep full of boys trying unsuccessfully to gain access into the condo area. we helped them out, they told us their number, and we actually went and called on teh boys. turns out they were from homewood, and knew a friend? of mine matt. interesting, but what's more, they were nice and decent guys and so we've never stopped hanging out. long story... concluded... i'm hanging out with jeremy and some of his pals, but probably not the entire original beach crew.

and... that's about it, i guess.

love
lindsey.

aufwachen

so it's wednesday now. i'm just sitting around and i should be at the gym right now, but it'll be lunch crowd rush soon, and i don't like that too much... i don't know. maybe i'll go anyways. or when mom and macy get home. i'm supposed to be here for the bug man at 2, so i can't go right after lunch time. but i did go last night and walked for an hour and watched american idol. carrie seriously needs some help with her clothing. she has a terrible idea of what looks good on her.

i'm watching 'true life: i'm going to fat camp' and this boy is about to leave his fat camp girlfriend and they keep crying and she's really really annoying. and i don't like to watch people kissing like that. oh, and evidently she's in love with him, but he's in love with 'someone else.' the love of 16 year olds. so tragic.

on the other hand, who am i to make fun of 16 year olds? i'm only 19. haha.

since when does playing pool count as exercise? the personal trainer took him to play pool.

then there's buck teeth girl who's got a horrid northern accent. oh my heavens she weighs less than me. mayed i'm taller and so it looks better? i don't know. this is scary though. why is weight so important? i mean, i think i look pretty ok, and most people think i look way less than i actually weigh... it's weird.

so oreo the skunk kitten slept with me last night- such a weird cat. i know very few cats who choose to sleep on their backs with their feet in the air. but that's oreo for you.

oh look, another mtv program about being fat. wonderful wonderful. haha, this 'beauty pageant queen' is going on a cottage cheese only crash diet. how stupid is that? oh, this is 'true life: i'm on a diet.' it's really stupid of me to be typing this while i'm watching tv, because it won't make too much sense if you aren't watching this with me... oh my heavens she looks awful. there's no way she's going to win. this girl and her mom are not pretty and they're annoying and they have terrible hair. i'm so glad my mom isn't like that... 'that's a big ol, wide butt! i've never seen it that wide!' i think this girl has had liposuction. she had these little dots on her thighs in the same place on both legs. gross. and now there's a wrestler boy. he's 4th in the country for his weight class. that's pretty good. he lost 2.5 lbs in a 35 minute workout. that's awful. it was all water weight, he knows it too. awful. and so unhealthy.

alright, so this is long enough. i'm going to call it quits and keep watching my weight loss programs.

love
lindsey.

pommes

alright so the colors and all have gone again, but that's ok. i'm typing in the living room on my brand new computer!! today was my birthday, and it was wonderful! i'll start at the beginning.

first, i got up to kelsey calling me to sing happy birthday. i lazed around watching the news and reading the paper with mom, then took a shower and nice bath. i got dressed, cat came over to give me some super cute earrings and a cute summer bag, and then we bade farewell since she's in ireland now!

then i met anna smith and erin bou for lunch at chilis, and it was SO good to see them again! i miss them so much-- such sweet girls.

then i met mom, kelsey, and tim at the summit to watch kicking and screaming, which was very funny. afterwards, i picked up the maymeister to take her swimming before OUTBACK.

after dinner, we opened presents, and this is what i got:

several pairs of cheerleading shorts since mine have all 'mysteriously disappeared'

super cute chandalier earrings from kel made out of oyster, i think

awesome chunky bracelet from tim that looks like ivory and dad says is probably illegal

a card from kel (she gave this to me first, telling me it was my only present) with a quarter in it to celebrate my birthday with

an optical wireless mouse

a printer

and my apple powerbook G4 with TIGER!


everything was way more than i ever hoped for.

then we ate cake, and mine was yellow cake with tons of icing, just like i like it. dad made a chocolate cake for them to eat since some prefer chocolate, but he forgot the eggs and it was mushy and SUPER rich. like fudge... only mushy.

then tim and kel and i threw a frisbee around and played a bit of tennis against the back wall, and then we watched some frasier and i worked on my new laptop with daddy.

i loved all the phone calls and facebook messages i got today- joy, lindsey, danielle, jeremy, laurie vandy, jess, jordan, cheryl, josh, athena, michael, my heavens... i know there's more but i just can't remember!! BUT THANKS SO MUCH!

anyways, it's been a great birthday. i was so excited about it all! so thanks everyone!!

love
lindsey.

vergessen Mich

another wonderful saturday.

yesterday was macy's baton recital, today was dance. that was fun... those mothers and odd litle children... if you've ever questioned the veracity of the obese children thing, look at those little girls. and those are the ACTIVE ones. it's terrible.

today was our assigned day to heckle mr. don (wilson) about turning 50. for the 50 days leading up to his birthday, ms. janice (his wife) assigned his closest and oldest friends a day to congratulate, tease, etc him about being 50. today was our day. since mr. don orders stuff from oriental trading all the time (ALL the time) mom had me call and leave a message pretending like i was from the magazine. i said that since he was our oldest and best customer, we wanted to give him a special present for his birthday; he could pick out anything he wanted free of charge. then i told him to contact the birmingham office (and gave our home number) and get in touch with the b'ham liason, ruth grissom. evidently he was so caught up in being called by oriental trading that he just didn't hear the ruth grissom part for a while. he really thought it was oriental trading! they were impressed by how professional i sounded ;D it was good fun.

we were going to act like i was sela ward and call him again, but i didn't know how she sounded. he went out on a date with her once when they were both at alabama. he talks about that a lot. it's funny.

but we didn't do the sela ward thing.

so... that was my saturday. some things that were supposed to happen didn't happen. and i've got to wonder, am i supposed to just overlook these things, or should i be hurt? if it's not a formal plan, but just an idea with a day, should i be hurt? i think so. especially on top of everything else. i just have a hard time communicating that in person. hopefully i won't have to worry about it much longer. pretty sure i won't, actually.

love
lindsey

вздох

some people are just ignorant. i don't mind, i suppose. as long as it's not born out of malice.

i had a pleasant day today, cleaning with mom, exercising, helping mom get stuff ready for vacation bible camp, cleaning again, organizing, polishing wood (I LOVE SHINY WOOD!!), college kid gettogether at church and hanging out at cat's with her and chris and anna. and nancy and larry! that was good fun. my garage band songs are awesome, are they not? and thanks, cat, my hair was gorgeous ;D

kelsey finally updated her open diary, and i'm sad she's so frustrated with grades right now. seems to me everyone just needs to sit down with a vicky holt and have a good day of reading. it always works for me.

it was so good to see erin and laurie at the thingie tonight at church. i've missed their company. i hope i get to do something with erin and anna smith on monday (19!!) because we had so much fun over christmas break i'd like to relive it. isn't is odd how friendships just pick up right where they left off? i think so.

it's also weird how i'm now seeing my mom as a real person, not just as a mom. going shopping with her and eating and helping and talking and discussing vicky holt... i like her. i think she's a great person and i'm super glad she's my mother. i think we can be good friends. we're a lot a like which is why we get into fights and all, but we're different. she's a more mature and organized and good version of me, i guess. it's weird. she's motivated and smart and confident and chatty and she's a wonderful hostess. she's a wonderful gal. i love my mommy.

i also love sleep. die Großeltern tomorrow and that's exciting. macy's got baton and dance recitals, then sunday with church, and then monday is monday (19!!!) and cat goes to ireland with nancy and larry (lucky kid). so it's a big few days coming up.

love
lindsey

buffelen

i've been so hungry today. i've started drinking green tea again and whoa am i hungry. went to locust fork with anna today to help her grandmother with some odds and ends in preparation for her move. it was fun. went to milo's for dinner, finished reading 'the secret woman' (victoria holt) and started 'the king of the castle' (victoria holt) which i was very excited to chance upon as i roamed the two bookshelves of vicky in the living room this morning. i haven't read it in a while and that's hard to come by in the summer.

i like books

so i made dean's list this semester, and that's also exciting. i was anxious about my english grade, since it was basically all riding on my portfolio, and what if i messed that up like i messed up my midterm folder, which was basically the same thing, only half as much work. but i got an a in there, so it's fine. i did get a b in linguistics, but i can deal with that, i guess.

and how about that gilmore girls finale tonight?! my heavens, girls, get your acts together. pitiful.

kelsey turns 21 tomorrow. isn't that incredible? i can't believe it. she's old. i'll be 19 in 6 days. i can't believe that either. if i smoked i could buy cigs here in alabama. but i don't smoke. so it's not that exciting. 18 wasn't exciting either, since i'm not even registered to vote. 20 will be sad, and 21 probably exciting, but it's hard to say. we'll have to see how ttu works out for me.

i think it's time for some quiet reading in the family room. then i'll come back and sleep and that'll be another day at home.

love
lindsey

oh so silly

so i was watching the "america's next top model" marathon on vh1 today, and i decided i could so smoke them all if i was skinnier. they're just lazy little uneducated girls who can't take a bit of criticism or crack a smile or a book, for that matter. so yeah. just thought i'd remark on that.

it's been a lazy day today. i babsat the maybug for a while. i'm questioning my skills as a mother, but maybe that'll come in the next few years. i need patience. badly ;D

i'm tired but i don't want to sleep. i'm going to asbury tomorrow with macy and i'm not too sure i actually want to go but ah well, i've already promised i'd take her. maybe i won't have to see too many people or maybe i can just blow them all away with my... self. i'm thinking black strapless dress, white cardigan, white bcbg heels, and turquoise/coral necklace. a good outfit. one of my faves.

oh and now there's a silly tv show on. i love saturday night tv. and at midnight, it's only better. haha.

i think this is my sign to turn on the seinfeld dvd.

nighto!

to those i like the best, you know who you are, i'd hope, and hopefully some aren't including themselves there that i bitterly deny that position to because they've been rude and mean and not good friends,

love
lindsey

!!!

yay for hot weather again!!

i was planning on going to the gym this morning, like i did yesterday, but i decided to do it this afternoon instead because i'm so incredibly sore from yesterday. i need some time to work out this soreness! i'm going shopping with kelsey today and picking macy up for ice cream and we're having grilled chicken tonight and i'm super excited about this!

yesterday was a great lazy day. i went to the gym for an hour or so, laid out, played some tennis against the garage wall, laid out, showered, played more "tennis", and then we all went out for logans for dinner. it was good. i got a steak. yum!

i'm still not sure why tim called me at 1:27 this morning. yeah, that's right. 1:27. i think something about cleats in kelsey's car? confusing confusing.

oh. i got a B in linguistics. i'm so mad at myself! i was so sure i could actually get an A in there and then look, i get a B. ugh. i might email him back and see if i can look at all of my grades together. it had to be m homework/participation grade. that really gets my goat. at least i got an A in german though, and that's a 4 hour class, so it weighs more than my regular 3 hour classes. and hopefully being at TTU will help me pull my gpa up?

shower time. again.

love
lindsey

no no no

the crying. it's started again.

not quite that bad, but oh tonight's been rough. i only got a few hours of sleep last night and now i can't sleep at all. i went to bruno's to pick up some essentials (seriously... like, a toothbrush) and i didn't have $18 on my debit card. this is very bad. kelsey's birthday is coming up. what am i going to do? i hate all these may birthdays, it's killing me. and i'm only going to be here for three weeks, so it's not enough time to get a job or anything here... i'll have to do something there though. besides, it'll increase my exposure to people. i guess. i don't know. i'm just so frustrated. i'm at home and it's weird and i just don't know what's going on at all here. i just kept walking around the store because i couldn't figure out what was going on at all. it was insane.

hey ok, here's good news.

i finally got online banking set up and i was able to transfer some money just now out of savings to hold me over. not the best solution, but it'll do.

i feel sick. it's that stomach sick where you don't know if you're hungry or upset or about to throw up. i hate that feeling. i had it once and thought i was hungry and i ate saltines and sprite and i threw up. so not fair.

ok, so things are better now. i'm such a fickle and irrational and emotional person. the littlest things just KILL me. my magnet that says "good clothes open all doors" got ruined today. i have one of those wall plugin scented things (sweet pea, bath and body works) and i unplugged it to pack it up and put it in a tupperware thingie with some magnets and odds and ends while packing to today. well, it was still warm and melted the magnet, and then it leaked EVERYWHERE in the container. so now everything in my room smells very strongly of sweet pea. and my car too. and that's not cool. maybe that's why i feel sick. it's too strong. ugh.

i got a parking ticket, finally. out of all the days when i let my meter expire or just couldn't find a dime or nickle, my last day in athens (well, i got the ticket my second to last day) i get the $5 ticket. parking beyond time allowed. it was a one hour spot. i was there for... 3 hours? i don't know. so i had to pay that too. that was fun.

i sort of wish i could just skip these three weeks and get started in tennessee. i'm anxious and ready and raring to go. and i want to start working and studying and being sciencey again. liberal arts can only take you so far.

my head hurts and i'm tired. why can't i sleep? oh, that's right, because everything smells like freaking sweet pea. sucky. i'm in a foul mood. i think i need some victoria holt to calm me down or something. maybe just green tea. who knows. ugh. i wish i wasn't so frustrated and hateful. i want to knock hats off.

maybe mom has some closets that need to be organized. she pays us to do that from time to time. can't i just leave already? gosh.

the only cure for this is a good bout at the gym. but i can't do that for a few more hours, so i guess i'll just sleep?

ok, it's only may 11th technically, but it counts, right? 18 minutes? makes the time seem that much shorter. i wish anna wasn't at the beach. i'd like to be in her company right now.

love
lindsey

well i'll be a Wernicke's Area!

i've just got linguistics left. that's hard to believe. french was easy, german was easy... i can only hope linguistics will follow suite because i haven't studied much. luckily some of the test is on easy things from an old chapter, and the rest is just the last bit of neurolinguistics. so it's hardly cumulative. however, i can't tell you much of anything about Broca's area and the like, so i'll have to study up on that.

meanwhile, i got to eat with joy and hope last night. let me tell you, if you don't know two inspirational twins with names like joy and hope, then you need to go find you some. i declare they're the sweetest thing since cold stone's sinless sweet cream ice cream. and that's pretty sweet! at any rate, as we were dining, i saw 3 sigma kappas, with fathers, the twins from folk dancing, the girl from german, AND another guy that lives in my dorm. how crazy is that? imagine all the people you see when you leave your dorm.

i've got to get packing, i suppose. i've been thinking about what all i can throw away and what i need to keep and how i'm going to get it all home. it's tough stuff. but i'm very excited about finally going home for a few weeks. very very excited.

i found out who my roommate will be this summer, and i think it will work out nicely. her name is cara, and every cara i've known has been nice and normal. this bodes well for me, i think.

and also- where is my discover magazine?! daddy got his copy this weekend, on THURSDAY and i still haven't gotten mine here. i'm very upset. there was an interesting article about atoms being in two places on the cover and i really want to read it. please.

i've been watching movies recently as there's not much else to do. i watched first daughter, and was struck by how similar it was to chasing liberty. i watched finding neverland and cried. i watched sky captain and the world of tomorrow and enjoyed it immensely. and i'm very hungry right now. i'm thinking... kfc? yes, indeed.

happy mother's day to my mommy!

love
lindsey

friday?

ok so... i have a french exam today. i probably will get a B on it or so. i don't mind so much. i just want it to be over.

my roommate is gone, and i just got assigned my new roommate at tennessee tech. i'm excited, and i think this summer i'll actually be living in the freshmen dorm, the brand new one with suites. so that'll be nice!

i got to go home yesterday and wednesday night for macy's 7th birthday, and that was super fun. i've just been driving today. i might have gotten burnt while driving with the sunroof open, but that's ok.

i'm tired, and frustrated with french, and i want to sleep and be done here. and you know, i'm still mad about some things that occured several weeks ago. i just can't get over how we were treated so shabbily, and i know that anna will try and talk me out of it or just tell me that she doesn't really care, but it's true. it was rude and mean and despicable, and i pray that i will never treat my best friends from high school like that. and no matter what you might say, anna, i have a hard time believing that she would ever care as much if one of us ran into troubles. it's no fun having this grudge, because i'd really like to get over it, but i have it all the same, and frankly, it's not going to begin to change until we get treated with a little more respect and love, and i'm seriously expecting an apology.
that is all.

to most, but not all, not right now:

love
lindsey

ich habe eine frage

i didn't realize the milo's reference, etc was that confusing. it was meant as a filter so that certain people (person) wouldn't feel entitled to ask me what was up, mostly because the aforementioned was the cause of the problem. and as said person had never heard of milo's, it was merely a qualifying statement.

moving on, yet again

i have a german final today and i'm super nervous. i feel like i know it, but i also feel like i'll mess it up somehow. i studied and was generally lazy yesterday, but was fairly social and ate well. we had a finals breakfast last night at eleven. it was surprisingly good and bad. bad because the pancakes were gross and good because the eggs were tasty. and i expected it to be the other way around. now the dorm smells like bacon and eggs and gross things like that.

tomorrow is macy's seventh birthday! it's hard to believe!! i'm going to try and run home for that, leave later tonight and come back early friday or late thursday. i'll need to go shopping today after my exam to get her something, and get mom something too, for mother's day, since i'll be missing that (thank you linguistics exam).

all in all, i'm mostly worried about what i'm going to be doing friday through monday. i have an exam tuesday, but i can't study THAT much, since it's not even cumulative. that'd be ridiculous. and i will have no TV or fridge or roommate. how sad and lonely! i'll have to figure something out.

meanwhile, back at the barn

i have butterflies in my tummy- i'm so nervous about this exam and getting my portfolio done on time! my english portfolio is due today at 5 PM and i've emailed my teacher with a few questions and i still haven't gotten an answer and i'm nervous about finishing that on time too. eck. i wish i didn't have that deadline looming over me! there's supposed to be this list at the end of our "writer's reflection" paper but i'm not sure what the list is supposed to be about. so that's not too cool. ok, it's 9:51 and my german exam is at 11... i can leave at 10:20 to walk up there and sit and wait for him... it's a make-up exam so there will only be like... 4 students taking it. just me and some people from the other class and him. yeah. so that'll be fun. maybe he'll give us answers or something.

at any rate, that's that. getting nervous about that.

and how about that gilmore girls last night? can we say abrupt ending?! it was ridiculous!!

love
lindsey